We lost our Queen Mum last week. Not the Royal Queen Mum, but our own Family Matriarch. During her very full 94 years, Helen Maluk raised 4 beautiful children, including my husband, his two sisters, and his brother. Mum served her community well in many capacities and showed everyone she touched the importance of acceptance and kindness. Our world was grounded by her presence. With that physical connection gone, we have been dealing with the challenges of grief, each in our own way.
One of the first tools I reach for is EFT Tapping. There are some amazing tapping practitioners who teach about using tapping for grief. I appreciate their approaches and have taken from each of them what works for me. Tapping isn’t about denying or ‘getting over’ my grief. It’s not about trying to put on a happy face and move on. Tapping while grieving is definitely not about forgetting my feelings for Mum. So then why tap?
We need the process of grieving to help us move through the negative emotions of our loss so we can remember and celebrate the joyful times. We need to grieve our loss, but we don’t need our grief to drag us down to the point of being paralyzed and stuck in the negative emotions. That’s where tapping can help.
We can feel the loss, notice the emotions we feel, where and how intensely we feel them in our body, and tap using the words that work best for us. We tap to accept ourselves and to accept exactly what we’re feeling. While tapping, the emotions and their intensity will likely change. Tapping helps us move through the transition of various feelings and emotions and come to a better place around the loss while accepting our changing feelings.
We do the best we can, even if that means tapping with no words at all while crying. Tapping on all the points for several rounds can help us feel calmer until words come. If there are times in public, during the services or back at work, where tapping on the points feels awkward, the stealth technique of holding the finger points can help us through.
If emotions feel overwhelming, remember to reach out to a professional for support during any grieving process. I did, and I’m so grateful to have someone guide me through when I need help. The grieving process can last longer than expected, but with tapping, it’s a much smoother journey.
Keep Calm and Tap On!