In my last post, I mentioned that an unexpected opportunity showed up for me in the form of a last-minute opening at a writers’ retreat…in California! I had been looking at the possibility of attending a writers’ retreat next year but thinking, “who am I” to take time to go to a retreat.
Ever have that short but powerful self-sabotage phrase drift into your head when considering something for yourself? “Who am I to do this?” “Who am I to spend the money?” “Who am I to apply for that job?” “Who am I to go on a vacation?” “Who am I to deserve this bonus?” There are many variations on this theme and it usually comes back to the need to feel safe and the challenge of feeling worthy.
The little voice in our head comes from our well-intentioned brain that remembers something in the past that might have caused hurt, embarrassment, worry, or something negative from a similar scenario. So it sends out little warning messages that all point to “stop!”
That was my first reaction. “I can’t go NOW! I’d have to get a flight, and a rental car, and, and, and…” I texted my husband and he said “Go! These chances don’t come along without a reason.” Bless him for supporting me, because in my heart I really did want to go. And then I tapped to reduce the stress and feelings of being unworthy.
“Even though I shouldn’t spend the money, and I don’t feel worthy of this opportunity, I accept how I feel.
Even though I’m stressed out just thinking about saying ‘yes’ to this chance, I accept myself anyway.
Even though I don’t feel like I deserve this retreat, I’m okay.”
Then tapping through the points:
“I am so stressed.
How could I possibly go?
The flight costs money,
and I’d be away for 5 nights!
I shouldn’t go.
It’s scary to go to California by myself.
I don’t know any of these people.
Who am I to go to a writers’ retreat?!”
I needed another round of tapping on the points because my intensity was still pretty high:
“I’m stressed because I don’t feel worthy to go to this retreat.
Why did she choose me?
I wonder if it’s possible that I really do belong there.
I’d love to meet other writers and learn from them.
Maybe it would be safe to go.
She wouldn’t have invited me if I wasn’t worthy of being there.
I’m willing to be open to thinking about this in a new way.
I’m willing to feel safe and worthy of going to this writers’ retreat.”
And the rest is history. I said “Yes!” And the Universe has been rewarding me ever since. I put out the wish and goal to be a successful writer and if I keep saying “No” to the steps offered to me on that path, I’ll never reach my goal.
Yes, it takes courage to step out of the comfortable patterns we know but stretching just a bit can be very rewarding. I had a great time, met wonderful new friends, and learned about being a writer.
If you feel stuck, here’s how you can let the brain know that it’s safe and that you’re worthy to move forward by using EFT Tapping:
- Identify what you feel: is it fear, anger, guilt, shame, worry, hopelessness, anxiety, dread, or something different?
- Notice where you feel it in your body. Often these ‘stuck’ feelings are tightness or heaviness somewhere like the chest, stomach, or throat. But notice what it is for you in this moment.
- Estimate how intense the feeling is on a scale from 0 – 10 where 0 is no intensity at all and 10 is maximum intensity.
Once you’ve identified what’s most intense for you, start tapping. Use words for your setup statement that match what is going on for you. Fill in the blanks with the emotion or sensation, describing what you’re feeling.
“Even though I feel this (emotion), and it feels like (sensation) in my (area of the body), I accept how I feel.”
Say your setup statement a total of three times, being as specific as you can while describing what you feel.
Then move on to the other eight tapping points, starting at the top of the head. Repeat a reminder phrase that describes what you’re feeling at each point. You can say the same thing at each point or just talk it out as you tap, moving from point to point.
As you tap, notice what changes or what comes up for you and tap on that. Tap until the intensity is as close to 0 as possible. Once you’re below a 3, you can start asking yourself what you’re ready to accept.
“I wonder if it’s possible that I can look at this in a new way.
Maybe it’s safe to take a small step forward and see how that feels.
Maybe I can be open to feeling like I deserve this.
Maybe it’s safe to feel worthy of receiving something good.
My brain and body are just trying to keep me safe.
But they’re working with old information.
That was the past, and things are different now.
It’s safe to take the next steps toward my goals. And I am worthy!”
Tapping scripts have good points and bad. They can help you get started when you can’t find your own words. But to get the best results, use your own specific, descriptive words. Trust yourself to find them. Just keep talking and tapping.
From a sweet poem that came my way this morning from Courtney Carver:
“Your worth cannot be
Measured, it’s been in
You from the beginning.
Nothing could take your
Worth away, you are worthy
By virtue of living.” – p.bodi
We ARE worthy. We ARE enough.
Keep Calm and Tap On!